More Hollywood Hilarity
May 20th, 2008 by park
Anyone who knows me, knows there are three people in Hollywood today I cannot stand in broad strokes. The first is Joel Schumacher, for the Batman nipples and neon Batmobile. Seriously…no matter what else he has done or will do…seriously.
Michael Bay, because someone let him direct Transformers. And while I think Bay does a good job (I mean he’s a fantastic director), he needs to stay clear of anything that is tied to my childhood. It’s called slow-motion numnuts. Try it next time you use highly-detailed, fast moving graphics. Good stuff with the explosions though. Go blow something up…I recommend a remake of Towering Inferno…seriously it was written with you in mind. (I kid you not…)
And the infamous Uwe Ball. Uwe has yet to do ANYTHING that is productive. And yet this goat fucker keeps getting work. What the hell?! Seriously. Take any movie he’s done…and tell me something positive. You can’t can you? Cause they all what? Sucked. He’s a no talent hack who apparently has found the right formula for doing JUST enough to get more work. Well, our little euro-trash shit-head has recently made a post (he and Michael Bay have some sort of online-video love affair going on) to Michael Bay’s response to Bay being a “fucking retard”. Well this inspired the following video from Uwe:
I realize that by even talking about this I am promoting Uwe. And they say there is no such thing as bad press. I disagree. I figure somehow he’s giving up the brown-eye to the right person to keep getting work, so the best I can do it continue to spread the hate of Uwe. Cause. Seriously, he’s a lunatic. And needs to be blackballed from ever directing again.
Except animal porn. I think directing animal porn would be worse than never directing again.