Godzilla in America
February 26th, 2008 by park
Misleading title? Maybe. But it out.
Anyone who knows me knows I have this very sad affection for slasher flicks. Friday the 13th, Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street…all that stuff.
It’s tasteless, it’s horrible, it’s grotesque. And it just gets me everytime. Maybe I should seek help. Maybe those flicks ARE my help. Either way, they are a hoot to watch. And no, I NEVER take them seriously…it’s just a modern day version of Hansel and Gretel as far as I can see.
So here’s my vexation. Why is it when America had a chance to adopt Godzilla as our own did we turn it into…whatever that movie was? I mean…we OBVIOUSLY have a healthy sense of morbidity. Look at how popular shows like CSI and Law and Order are. That’s some seriously disturbing stuff.
So here’s my solution to the whole Godzilla problem. We adopt Jason Vorhees. Seriously. We can turn him into a good guy. Don’t believe me? Allow me to draw you a map.
Godzilla is this sad creature who lives in the waters off Japan. He terrorizes the people of Tokyo on a regular basis. But if anyone sets foot in his territory, he will atomic breath them into dust. He is very territorial, he definitely understands revenge, and he holds a HELL of a grudge.
Jason Vorhees. He’s a sad creature who lives in the waters of Camp Crystal Lake. He terrorizes the people of Camp Crystal lake and the surrounding area on a regular basis. If anyone else threatens the area…he steps in (Freddy Versus Jason?) and he will…power tool them to death. He is highly territorial, is completely fueled by revenge and he has been to hell…
I mean, come on.
Seriously…I need to slow down on my studies. I think my brain is frying slowly in its juices.
*sighs*